Better Living through Regular Expressions: A Dramatic Work

G: My life is over!

H: What? Liar, How can you say that?

G: Huh?

H: You're talking to me anyway?

G: But I cant find my files.

H [blank stare].

G: Ok, ok, I found the files, but there are a lot of them and they are huge. This is the problem with never throwing anything awa--

H: Regular Expressions.

G: Wha? My expressions are quite regular right now. I just can't find any of the right--

H: I meant like Perl.

G: Oh, you would. Swine.

H: Whatever, at least I can find anything in an instant?

G: An instant? Really, and instant?

H: Well, theoretically.

G: Famous last words. Show me!

H: Ok! [pause] let me get my books.

G: Don't bother. (Sigh.)

H: Now whose being melodramatic?

G: Just get over here and write the danm shell script.

H: Ok, ok. Where does it start?

G: ^.

H: ?

G: Oh Sh[aeiou]t...

H: that doesn[]t make sense.

G: If you knew how to type it would.

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