Caffeine Dependence

Sometimes, particularly when it feels like I'm not getting very much done, I'd probably tell you that I'm not very good at keeping myself a routine and that I'm not terribly focused most of the time.

I'd probably be lying.

While I wish that I had additional routines and habits more firmly established (blogging, writing, excercise, the truth is (I think, in retrospect) that a lot of how I exist in the world has to do with routines, and winning the mind-over-matter game.

Since graduating from college, or there abouts I've been very keen to limit/control the amount of sleep I get in an effort to control normal fluctuations in mood. I'm pretty keen on waking up "early" so that I can spend a few hours in the morning before the day starts writing and tending to my own things in "me time." I'm also pretty mindful of how I use caffeine to control awakeness and focus, and I primarily do exercise/gym things to modulate my mood and energy level, to control how much I sleep and am able to focus.

Welcome to my life.

I realized much to my delight, that I'd reached that stage of sleep deprivation where I'm able to fall asleep directly after drinking a cup of tea and stay asleep, until the morning. I've also managed to get in a habit, where, most nights, I roll over and check the clock between sleep cycles. It doesn't make the sleep feel less restful, but I do feel more grounded in reality when I wake up, and tend to be less groggy as a result.

Frankly this is kind of exciting for me.

Yesterday, I made tea right before I left the office, but left the mug there, and my night was noticeably effected by the chemical difference (I usually drink up to 24 ounces of tea on the train home.) All is better today.

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