On Sexual Experience

Overheard this past week:

"I think because queers (guys specifically) mostly don't get a chance to be teenagers--with the flirting and the sex experimentation and what not--when they're actually teenagers, we spend a lot of time after we're teenagers fumbling through our love lives acting like teenagers even though we know it's not right, because we have to get it out someway," I declared. My discussions with C. about of our romantic woes often began with broad decelerations about sociological phenomena.

Strangely this was comforting.

"I don't think it's a queer, thing--I sort of feel like I'm in the same place. I think that's how everyone who was nonsexual in high school deals with their twenties," she asserted. C. is often right about these things, but I don't have to like it. I propose some theory of the nature of queer life, and she asserts that it's more universal; almost always true, but far less exciting/original that way.

"Remember how I used to call you 'almost queer,' and you used to laugh at me for being absurd?"

"Yes."

"This is what I meant." I stare, but there's probably a twinkle in my eye. She laughs, and I feel relieved, Making C. laugh is something I donate a lot of energy to.

"It's like we all have teenager to get out of our systems--" C. begins.

"--and it takes forever because we know we should be beyond it by now." I finish.

"Imagine how awesome we'd be now if we got laid in high school." C laments.

Now I'm laughing, "I think it probably has less to do with the sex and more to do more with the flirting and crushing and all that good old trial and error romance stuff that folks do when they're young."

"Probably." C. says after a moment. "So, speaking of what did our mututal crush say to you this time."

"The usual," I say, and roll my eyes. "G-d, I wonder how did I seem so together when we were in college,"

"Eh, it's not him is it?" C. is uncanny.

"Ok you can stop being psychic now."

And I wonder why there are entire journals devoted to queer studies sometimes. Actually come to think about it, I'm sort of writing a paper on this subject. I like how even in my absence from academe, where I'm trying to relax and refresh as much as possible so I can build new connections and foundations when I get back to it in a few months/weeks, everything still seems to be connected.

Also while this conversation reflects--more or less--an actual conversation, it's a format (albiet with more science fictional elements) that I'm playing with for a new project that I'll probably launch sometime this summer. Does the ultra short, potentially serial, format appeal?

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