In response to something I'd written last night, Indi said something along the lines of, "you have a way of saying a lot without really saying very much." This is a fairly valid criticism, and something I get with some regularity. The basic theme: "be more specific."
Perhaps it's because I'm extroverted, and by default process thoughts and ideas in writing or more often out loud. But then again, it might be because there's a larger issue, and given that I don't particularly agree with the idea that personality is that fluid, I'd like to act as if there's something larger that I might have a chance to fix or improve on.
On the one hand I think a part of me has been like this (terminally unspecific) for a really long time, and that it's been a coping mechanism for the closet, and because it's easier, not to mention that it requires less effort.
Having said that, I think it's a writer's block-type dilemma. Not writer's block as in "I have to write X today and stare at a blank page for 6 hours being devoid of inspiration," but something more along the lines of "I don't know what I want to write," or "I feel like I need to write, but can't bring myself to do it," sort of like lethargy, And given that I have this massive amount of written material that I have to turn out every week for school, I don't have the option of sitting and staring at a blank page for hours. So I write uninspired papers that only occasionally are ok (especially when the teacher has low standards.) I've gotten a little bit better at forcing my papers to be more specific, but it's a laborious process and so far has only been accomplished when a parent has been there to keep me from running off into unspecific
The main break as far as I'm concerned is when I got back from Anytown, which was an experience I really valued, but before I went to Anytown (and really before I went to visit colleges in August right before Anytown.) Which is really when I stopped working on Another Round.
I should have someone look through Circle Games, but I'm pretty sure that I didn't have this kind of a problem when I was writing that. Mind you, my school papers were still not specific enough but I think that is due to the (a) reason. And I defiantly didn't feel lethargic about writing. I'd like to have someone look through the TealArt archives and see if the entries from a year ago (and before) are specific or not in comparison to the ones now. Any takers?
As for possible solutions, I clearly haven't found anything that really works in a decisive sort of way, but, thus far here's what I'm thinking:
I should read through Anne Lamott's "Bird by Bird" which has a really helpful chapter on writers block, and is generally inspiring and wonderful. Revisiting that should be really good.
I'm not reading as much as I used to which is a definite short falling. As I can knit and read at the same time which is good and will probably encourage me to knit more, but I'd like to establish a routine where I can read fiction again.
I need to do more work at school. There's a teacher who has a room that's a very good work space, and I think by moving a lot of writing projects to school, I'll be able to get more done. Perhaps not the final solution, but I think there is a definite "play" environment at home.