Because I’m moving soon (eep.) I’ve realized that we needed to get a new bed. See my existing bed--now, nearly ten years old--was wedged into the room in my parents house that it is currently in, with some force, and we very much doubt that said bed will ever be able to be removed, given the shape and location of the doorway.

Anyway, so I went to our local furniture store the other day to scope out and price mattresses and box-springs. This furniture store is this outlet-like store that’s pretty near to where my parents live, and over the past ten or twelve years we’ve gotten a fair number of things there, so much so that there’s a sales guy that recognizes my mother and I when we enter.

So we go in, and I try and make a b-line for the mattress section, when we were acosted by a very helpful sales guy (not our usual victim) and he hovered around telling us way too much about the inner workings of the mattresses, even after I tried to make it clear that: a) I wasn’t likely to buy the mattress today, b) I just wanted to feel where my price point was.


I should interject two things, one that I sleep on my stomach, and two that I tend to sleep with my feet hanging off the end of the bed.


So after a while of looking around and hoping that the dude would get the picture and leave me alone, he finally suggested that I try a particular bed out.

“Ok,” I said, and face planted side ways (so that I was running parallel to the imaginary headboard) onto a sort of mid-to-high end off-brand mattress. “Hey,” I said, after a moment, “That’s pretty good,”

“Uh,” he said, “Is that how you usually sleep on beds?”

I was speechless. Not only was he hovering but he was judging me for how I was laying down on beds. Now to be fair I don’t typically lay on beds cross-ways except for naps when I’m really tired, but still it seemed out of place, particularly since he’d been so accommodating and attentive henceforth.

Sigh.