A lot of people are pretty good with computers, a lot of people are reassembly geeky but I’m about as good as they come. I mean there are people who have degree’s in Computer Science and Information Science/Technology who can do stuff that I can’t, more because I don’t have the training than because I’m incapable of the task. I can navigate my way through the internet and I’m always on top of new developments, anymore through circumstance and coincidence than through any active effort on my part. In addition to all of the mainstream sources that seem to have a direct wire into my brain, I’m very tuned into the human side of the internet, and have a lot of connections and helpful friends. The whole world really is at my finger tips. But being an A-list geek isn’t all about the internet and being connected, it’s also about being able to navigate local programs and possessing the ability to optimize your software so that it fits with my working style, rather than optimize my working style to fit with the software. Its also about being able to understand, even on the most fundamental level, how programming works, and the nuts and bolts of everything fits together, this isn’t to say that you should be able to program or debug on your own, but you should be able to follow and exploit the kinds of logical process that programmers use. And you know what? I got it. I got it all.

I doubt a lot about myself. A whole lot. My ability to succeed academically, my writing, my completion, my indecisiveness, and so forth. I think I’m allowed one area where I can completely kick ass in, one area where I can say “I’m just as good if not better as anyone out there,” and feel good. I’m not being standoffish here, it’s the truth.

But there’s a problem. I don’t care. It’s not so great, knowing how to do all of these things is all well and good, but there comes a point where you have to step beyond the screen and make it into something more. Look at the big picture and see that computers are a tool to accomplish your goal. People forget that too often or at least the normal brand of geek hasn’t moved beyond the “computers are a tool” clause.

An example. Mobile Technology. The people who are really into mobile technology, or at least the ones who do really good with publishing about mobile tech are people who don’t really use the tech, because they spend most of their day in front of big computers that do everything they need, and the truth of the matter is that they are thus unable to regularly put their units under the kinds of realistic tests that us normal people live with day in and day out. In this environment the geeks become people who have moved from using a technology because it helps them accomplish essential tasks to using a technology because “it’s the coolest most exciting new thing around and it can do all of these fancy things, dude!”

And it goes beyond that. It goes beyond one sector, one area. The problem is that the geeks are moving in directions and doing things and removing the purpose and point, and moving the whole realm of geekyness' into an area that that has ceased to serve an end. And I’ve become disillusioned.

On a mostly unrelated note, I some how managed to break the display function for the comments on here, but posting comments should still work, even if you can’t see them. In other news we’ve decided to open a Notebook-type site but we’re still working on names. Another day or two. And that personal update is coming, and will probably come out in conjunction with the aux site.

And By the Way this is Entry Number 100. Between Quotes and Links and the Journal and all of the test entries I was forced to do to get the delay in positng to disapear, we’ve hit 100. Here’s to many more. Cheers.

Every so often I feel the necessity to write a little ditty here to tell you about what’s happened and what we have planed, despite the fact that it goes most of the blogging directives that I subscribe to. Alas. I still feel like we need to do it from time to time. So here it goes.

We’ve added Peter McCabe as a contributor; you saw his post I’m sure. His perspective and dynamic will really enhance the site as we have it now, and I’m really looking forward to what he’ll come up with in the coming weeks and months. I’m also on the look out for another Teal Artist person, but I have fairly specific requirements, so the search is slow, but eventually I’d like to add another person here. If anyone’s interested, I’d like to hear from you, but I’m being picky with this, so don’t take any rejections personally.

A long time ago, we added a fourth skin (before the site dump), and I don’t think I ever posted about that. I’m finally pretty happy with what I see in or selection of designs, there’s a fifth skin hanging around somewhere, but it’s not perfect yet, so it’ll be a little while until we see that kind of design development, but I think what we have now is sufficient, and I really don’t like that aspect of web design very much at all, so it left up to the free time in Chris' schedule. I wouldn’t hold your breath.

Commenting on the TealArt blog has been restored. Sometime when I have more than half a brain and I’m in the mood to do some coding, I’ll write up a page so that you all can register. Registration makes commenting easier, and you’ll be able to edit your words without needing divine intervention. Enjoy, and we really thrive on knowing that there are people out there are paying attention to shouts into the night.

I think we referenced “the auxiliary site” at one point, and that disserves a little explanation. Chris bought a domain and installed b2, and proceeded to double all of his TealArt posts onto his website along with some other more random things, like poetry and quick rants, but for the most part it was a quick and sloppy thing without a direction to speak of. So during a late night IM conversation that was meandering through the dark caves of nothingness, Chris comments that it might be kind fun if we posted our IM transcripts at the end of every week. It was wacky, and it was just weird enough that it might work. TealArt didn’t quite seem like the right place for such foolishness, wiped Chris' site clean, whipped up a design that was mostly stolen from a free blog template site, and started posting.

The idea was to have a site where we were removed from what passes for our real personas, and would thus be able to say anything without it being connected to what readers of this site or of CollectiveArts might think. I’m not going to tell you the URL, and I bet you won’t guess it. It was to be fast, campy, zany, honest, blunt, and for the most part completely removed from our real lives. We even post under false names, mostly for kicks. It’s a great idea and I don’t know how it’ll turn out. We’re considering transitioning that site into a “TealArt Notebook” that would take the aux site’s place, but ultimately that’s not my decision, so we’ll see.

CollectiveArts is getting close to the fabled re-launch, though I’m waiting on a couple more profiles. I think it’s going to be really cool, but we’ll see how things fall once it’s really live. For a while we had our name’s linked to our CollectiveArts profiles but I think ultimately that doesn’t represent the kind of work that we’re doing here at TealArt, so I think sometime soon we’re going to write up better ëabout' pages for your enjoyment. For me, at least, a good about page can make or break a blog, and it’s been on my list for a really long time, so maybe we’ll finally get around to it.

There are a host of other personal updates, but I’ll keep my own stuff out of the “Site Update” save that for tomorrow. Cheers!

I’m ambivalent towards myself, or at least I’m ambivalent about writing about myself; and no this isn’t going to turn into an about page. I think we learn a lot of things from reading high quality work, but on the same token I think we learn even more from reading lower quality work. From this we can figure out what not to do, and learn from mistakes before we even have a chance to make them.

One thing that I saw a lot during my examination of the various crap that’s floating around the web is that the first person is a delicate thing that can easily be used to create complete crap. What ends up happening is that rather than create the impression of a fictional world and story, the author isn’t removed from the story and it seems very false and autobiographical, even when the author doesn’t intend for it to be.

Additionally, it’s far easier to write “I think, feel, act and breathe like this,” rather than work on writing something that’s more removed and distant. Using I statements is a crutch that too many authors, in my opinion, rely on without reason, and so their choice of narrative person isn’t based on what’s going to make the story most effective, but what’s easiest to write.

For these reasons, I’m don’t like writing fiction, or more properly haven’t yet gotten to a point where I’m comfortable writing fiction in the first person. I think that the second half of the next novel project will be in first person, perhaps the whole thing, but I’m not sure at this point. I think distance and a level of experience with third person can give the proper amount of skill and ability to successfully pull off a story in first person.

On the other side of the coin, writing non-fiction in first person can have a very nice effect that can make some essays personal and hard hitting, but it can also make an otherwise effective piece of prose completely pointless. Because I’m writing so much stuff for school, and because I tend to err on the side of perfection and cautiousness, it’s become hard for me to write in first person, morso in non-fiction than in fiction, but it’s a problem in both.

Also my normal mode for non fiction is this pedagogical air about writing that I haven’t been able to shake. Maybe it’s Robert’s fault for roping me into that column three years ago, but it probably runs deeper. I really don’t mean to try and teach and correct everything but it seems that that’s just what comes out.

I’m stopping now while I’m ahead. Or something.

Cycling through our, at the moment, not-so random, random quote generator are two somewhat fitting quotes. One by Alfred Kinsey that basically says nature exists as a continuum and that as humans we try and force a wide spectrum of divergent elements into neat little categories. Usually these categories represent polar opposites, and if we’re lucky, a middle ground, which is really incapable of describing much of any thing. Kinsey was talking about human sexuality, and while he did a lot to change the perceptions of sexuality, he wasn’t able to fully circumvent the human desire to categorize itself and its world. A seven point scale is better than a three, two, or even one point scale, but there are so many varieties and possibilities that just about anything would somehow fall short.

Chris added another quote from the breakfast club that conveyed a very similar message, but approached this problem from a completely different perspective. It said, basically, that we see things as we wish to: in the simplest, most convenient terms, when in fact we are individuals comprised of multiple traits and behaviors.

Things exist in shades of grey, between the darkness and the light (I’ll any non-Chris person a hug if the can figure out that allusion and drop me an email), and we as humans force everything into categories of black and white because it’s easy, because it gives us power, because it makes us feel safe and in charge of a very scary world. The biggest problem with this is, of course, that things don’t exist on the planes of total lightness, and total darkness.

I don’t have any answers, unfortunately, but then we wouldn’t have much purpose in hanging around here if we did.

I learned about the explosion of the Space Shuttle Columbia, two hours after the fact, and I fighting quite frightening. I don’t know what to say. I’m afraid for the lives of the six astronauts that are surely casualties of this accident.

Additionally, I fear that this may mark the end of the space program, and I think that may be the largest causality of this event.

This isn’t to say that the seven lives (which would make the causality total from the space program still under 20), quite the contrary, and the loss life as part of space exploration is unacceptable; however, no human endeavor with the possibility for gains is without risk, and that’s something that everyone involved with the space program must make peace with.

But that is in the realm of the future. As for the present, surely we need time to collect ourselves, and we have all the time we need.

Like any good blogger, I suppose I owe you both a New Years Entry. TealArt has been wimpy for the past couple of months, but that just might be changing. I’m working on a new Top-Secret formula that might synthesize enough new time in the day for me to start writing for this site again, and Chris is finally coming to his senses and is itching to start posting again. Amy and I have made plans to wrap up some coding work later this week that will transfer this site to the Quarto CMS which will be awesome beyond words. Stay tuned.

2002 has most certainly been interesting. TealArt and CollectiveArts have been through too many changes and not all of them were good so I’m not going to even wax poetic about any of them; but I think something personal is in order. 2002 has seen the creation and destruction of many things, as any year is bound to see. I do not suppose in the grand scheme of things that anything has changed, nor will anything significant change in 2003, but it’s the little things that count.

I’ve spent the better part of this year working on Circle Games, and the end is finally within sight. Even if the book turns out to be crap, which is inevitable in retrospect, and even if I’m not able to publish it (not to sound to hard on my self. I honestly think that it’s a good book and that a publication endeavourer will be successful.) Circle Games will have thought me that I am able to write fiction, that I do have the will power necessary to compose a novel, a real novel.

But it’s not over yet. I still have a substantial portion of the text to complete. So that’s part resolution I suppose. I am sticking to Amy’s Imperative(tm); save the future and present for your pleasure and write about the past. So you’re not going to get the list of resolutions, but they’re in there.

Till next time; Cheers.

Editor’s Note: Another Blast from the past. Here’s a tidbit I wrote as a response to greek tragedy on September 19th of this year. Reprinted here because it’s edging on quality and because I can and because I need a few more entries to make sure this thing actually works.

Analysts often derive pleasure from the examination of complex multi-layer works, while neglecting simpler works. People often overlook simple plots and tales because they aren’t as high-brow or of scholarly interest. Simplicity and economy of language and ideas can produce some of the most beautiful and poignant literature around. Favoring multifaceted dramas and stories, has left forms such as simple drama, poetry, and singular threaded short stories in some kind of a second seat. The simpler forms are not only stunning in and of themselves, but they also have the ability to lend an insight into the more complex works that would be otherwise unavailable.

Excessive size fascinates us and has gained undue appreciation in our culture. We consider long novels and plays, among other things, to be magna opus. It’s true that the main challenge of novel writing is length; however, length only signifies the time investment. A well written short story can—in theory—serve all of the purposes of a novel. Sometimes the best way to present an idea is in the simplest terms possible. Edgar Allen Poe could have written his famous “The Raven” as a short story, but in the end it wouldn’t have been recognizable as “The Raven,” and if it bore resemblance I doubt that it would have matched the poem’s quality. Likewise, both Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken” and Emily Dickenson’s “I Never saw a Moor—” both express essential ideas that would lose their poignancy if the pieces were any longer.

Beyond being beautiful in their own right, brief pieces that effectively communicate their idea to the reader can improve the possibility for understanding all forms of literature. An author should be able to display all of same literary genius—if not more—in a diminutive piece that he or she is able to show in a magna opus. Short works can quickly provide examples for styles, techniques, and temporal variations in literature in instances that longer works may prove to be unwieldy.

Works that span several hundred pages and share an idea, message, and universe with us are stunning, as they should be. Works that span a few hundred or thousand words are almost more impressive than their longer counterparts. What a novelist has to do in three to five hundred pages, a short story writer has to do in a handful of pages. This creates short works that are stunning in their own right, and that have a great deal of influence on the literature.

(**Editor’s Note:**Here’s another blast from the past that will be a test entry until we get things working the way they should. Thanks for your patience, or tollerance.)

I haven’t given you updates on the creative side of my life in a while; too long. Truthfully you’ve been getting select recycled journal entries from a journal writing exercise that I’ve been doing for school for the past couple of months. Sadly, that assignment has ended, or at least morphed into a readers response kind of deal, and unless you all really want my thoughts on Miss Julie, Hedda Gabler, M. Butterfly, Invisible Man, The Great Gatsby, Madame Bovary, The Old Man and the Sea, Heart of Darkness, Billy Buddóor have masochist tendenciesóI won’t be posting these. (Yes that is my reading list for the rest of this academic year, and as I think about it you might get a few tirades about Herman Melville and Earnest Hemingway just ‘cause I don’t particularly care for them.)

By the second of September when my classes started the word count on Circle Games was at 42,000 words. My goal has been to write 1,000 words a week on this project, and I’ve been successful and the word count is now at 52,000; and by the end of the weekend I hope to have 54,000 done because of the holiday. The story is progressing in a fabulous sort of way and even though I have 30-40,000 words left to write the end is within sight and I feel confident that I’ll finish this by the goal time of May 19th which just happens to be my birthday. Fancy that!

Right now, I’m working on character syntheses for an outline that I also hope to have completed by May 19th so that I can draft on it while I work on the Circle Games revisions. While I do have somewhat extensive outlines and notes for Circle Games, the process of developing the story for Circle Games happened differently, and I suppose a little background is necessary.

In august of 2002 I started to write on a project that I called “Circle Games” I didn’t have an outline and I didn’t really have a full idea of where the story was going to go. I did know who most of the characters were going to be, and I did know that the story stared on the perfect autumn day. I was younger, I thought was damn good, and I thought didn’t need no stinkin’ outlines.

I think I wrote a total of 3,000 words on that attempt before school started and I got so caught up in that work, that I was never able to pick that draft up again. Then, at some point the plot fleshed itself out and my visions of the book completely changed. My father said something to me that inspired a creative theme and message, and it started to feel like something real instead of something hopelessly pathetic. The problem was that it is really impossible to start a novel project when you have other commitments; because for a few weeks at least, you don’t do much else.

I don’t know what clicked but somehow without really noticing the note book that I had been carrying around with me for whenever the inspiration struck filled quickly with a very extensive outline. The only things I really remember from the outline process is that I was sitting at my usual spot in the cafeteria with a shiny new yellow or green 10 dollar fountain pen that had black ink, that might have been borrowed come to think of it, writing the physical/technical specs for the story (hyperspace, guns, communications devices, deck overviews and design principals for the ships), and then as I was finishing I remember talking the whole plot over with my father, who remains the only person other than me to know the outcome of the story and the full meaning of the title.

I finished the outline around the time of my birthday in 2002 and had about six weeks before school would be out and I would be able to start on the draft, which at that time I thought could finish by the time school started in September. I spent this time writing the character brainstormings and profiles, social and cultural histories, and several types of plot summaries. When school let out I started this draft, and I think the rest is history, more or less.

The end result of all this is that by the time I started the outline I already knew all of the characters fairly well, and I knew the basic turns of the plot pretty well. It helps that a generous census of characters runs at about fifteen, and the plot isn’t terribly complicated; and thus the outlining process was fairly painless.

The next outlining project is turning out to be very different because I don’t have any story or character cast to start with. Everything is new; and that’s a little scary and intimidating in equal measure. Right now, I’m busy doing all of those things that I did after I had finished the outline project: the character profiles, basic tech/design specs, the thematic design, and plans for literary effects. We’ll see how things develop, and there’ll be updates as this project progresses.