I survived the wedding. Though my ailment seems to be coalescing, hence the title.

The truth was that it was a nice, if by the book, sort of event, the ceremony was brief, the party didn't drag on, and it was a pretty small gathering.

I still hate weddings. And I developed a number of principals for better weddings:

  1. If you can't combine the ceremony with the toasts at the reception, there's a problem. Weddings are social events, and the major function of a wedding is for a community to celebrate and "bless" a partnership. The toasts at the reception seem like the ideal place for this.
    • I suggested at first that we find a way to integrate eating into the service, but the minister on hand noted that the goyem called this "communion," and I suddenly felt less creative, so we're back to the first option.
  2. Ministers are unnecessary, except in cases where the officiant is basically part of the wedding party, a mutual friend or one of the attendants if there were an odd number of bridesmaids or some-such. I mean, I think that it's not too radical to suggest that if people really want to get married, they should be capable of doing it themselves, at least ceremonially.
  3. Wear jeans. Duh.
  4. Gotta have morris dancers.

I could blather on here about how the marriage laws are antiquated in many ways (they are), or how there needs to be a cultural re-imagining of marriage (there does), but I think I won't. It's a sort of tired topic, and I'm not sure what reenacting this debate would do here.

And the truth is, that on some greater level even if I think marriage--particularly the rituals associated with it--is foolish, I'm not particularly opposed to specific marriages, particularly if they're grounded in independent and freethinking.

But weddings still suck.