I survived the wedding. Though my ailment seems to be coalescing, hence the title.
The truth was that it was a nice, if by the book, sort of event, the ceremony was brief, the party didn't drag on, and it was a pretty small gathering.
I still hate weddings. And I developed a number of principals for better weddings:
- If you can't combine the ceremony with the toasts at the reception,
there's a problem. Weddings are social events, and the major function
of a wedding is for a community to celebrate and "bless" a
partnership. The toasts at the reception seem like the ideal place
- I suggested at first that we find a way to integrate eating into the service, but the minister on hand noted that the goyem called this "communion," and I suddenly felt less creative, so we're back to the first option.
- Ministers are unnecessary, except in cases where the officiant is basically part of the wedding party, a mutual friend or one of the attendants if there were an odd number of bridesmaids or some-such. I mean, I think that it's not too radical to suggest that if people really want to get married, they should be capable of doing it themselves, at least ceremonially.
- Wear jeans. Duh.
- Gotta have morris dancers.
I could blather on here about how the marriage laws are antiquated in many ways (they are), or how there needs to be a cultural re-imagining of marriage (there does), but I think I won't. It's a sort of tired topic, and I'm not sure what reenacting this debate would do here.
And the truth is, that on some greater level even if I think marriage--particularly the rituals associated with it--is foolish, I'm not particularly opposed to specific marriages, particularly if they're grounded in independent and freethinking.
But weddings still suck.