The Parting Glass (Part 1 of an indeterminate number)
It's all been done, before, but just cause I think it's cool, and I don't want to bother to ask people permission to write about them (and symbolically altering names is kind of stupid,) I'm going to identify characters discussed in web log with initials, or relationally. Along with this, privacy seeking measure, I'm going to remind the readership, that the stories I tell are important to me. If you figure out who the other actors are, good for you, don't share. Secondly, as always, if I leave something out of a TealArt post and you want to know more, wait till I write more about it, or email me about it. There's some method to my madness, usually.
I said good-bye to A.W. today. I keep doing that, and will keep doing that for a long time. Don't ask me why. I used to be ambivalent about him, a problem that often got worse with interaction. Now, I've seen him way more in the last three weeks than I'm used to, and if anything I've gotten less ambivalent. Its funny, I'm moving away in about a week, and this was probably the hardest good-bye, and it's not the first time (nor the last) I've said good-bye to him.
Because I'm in a Babylon 5 mood, and really deep down, I'm just a regular old geek fanboy, here's a couple of things from the end of season five. Delenn, said that there's no word for "good-bye" in the Mimbari language, because all of they left open the possibility for a "next time." The second thing, G'kar, says good-bye to someone staying on the station, as he makes some speech about how, if you spend enough time in a place or with a person, you take a little bit of the place/person with you when you leave, and you leave a little bit of yourself behind. G'kar says something like "the part of me that is going, will very much miss the part of you that is staying." Something like that. Both of those ideas are kind of key to my experience.
I'm going to a party in an hour and a half where I get to say good-bye to a bunch of the people I went to school with. I never socialized with them very well, but we have a bond. I suppose, and I think it's important for closure that I go to this party. Let us note, I went to one of their graduation parties, and other than that I completely avoided their madness. Ignoring that fact, it'll be fun, and then I get to go to my second to last gay-youth group meeting. That'll be sad-ish.
It isn't like I'm dying, and I'll be back, but these "goodbye for now"s are difficult. Especially in cases like A.W. where I really really want to spend time with him.
Update:The party was a huge non issue. It was good to see and say goodbye to the folks, but those are some pretty lame parties, and I feel good. And then I left, and felt good for doing it. Saying goodbye to A.W., though was still so much more amazingly difficult. Alas.