Topic: Posts

In light of the fact that I don’t really have anything else to post about, I’m going to offer you an update on all the things happening in my life at this point. I hope you’re all deeply interested. Ha!

Ok, so being home isn’t as bad as I feared, but I haven’t really accomplished much. You’ll note that the design around here isn’t what it usually is (this is the time of year that TealArt usually gets budgeted into attention/time budget), I’ve of course done a lot of knitting, and a (very very) little reading.

While I strive for knitting accomplishment, and really enjoy finishing a project, I think I’ve discovered that finishing written things provide a greater sense of accomplishment. Which is interesting, because last semester my course work was entirely based on papers, (2 classes, 4 hours, out of 23 hours, had tests in addition to two papers) and finishing a paper wasn’t particularly exciting. Now I think next semester might be a little bit better. I don’t have to figure out any new disciplinary method (last semester I took two classes outside of my majors, and felt like a fish out of water, pretty much the whole time), and I’m only taking 19 hours: well, certainly no more than 19.

Once upon a time, I used to preach that, the need to write, simply to write, is what defined a person as a writer. Since then I think I’ve moderated a bit, as I have found lots of writers who don’t seem to partake in this “need to write” urge. Also, as I’ve gotten more busy with academic work in the last two years, I haven’t been pressing a fiction project as I did when I was writing Circle Games. (I’d like to say, that the binder carrying CG goes almost everywhere with me, though I haven’t really opened it much of late.)

I’ve pronounced Another Round, what would be my second novel project dead, more than once, and eventually when I get the urge to write I revive it and work on it some more. I have a pretty good start, but not really enough of an urge to put in the effort it deserves. I kept a window open for a few days and wrote 3-6 pages, give or take a bit. While this isn’t anything to spit at, it’s not the kind of energy it could have been, and I’m not feeling it. I also know that, well it’s crap. I mean I think the story is engaging, and it’s not the right for me right now. I think the allegory and social commentary aspects are all set up, but there isn’t depth. And try as I might, 20,000 words and the characters aren’t fully formed. For Circle Games they were and still are. And the genre doesn’t feel like something I’m into any more. I haven’t been reading it. I haven’t been thinking it. And I don’t have the science background to believe it for myself. Maybe this is the same argument that I’ve been making for a long time, and maybe I mean it this time.

While it’s good to know this about myself and my writing, the problem is that it leaves me with a metaphoric blank page with the words “Great American Novel” at the top. You all will probably remember this winter when I talked about writing another all new book. Well at the time, before the shit hit the fan, I made some notes for a story, which I rediscovered as the summer started, and I found that it wasn’t really all that good. So I’m back to the drawing board, and I don’t have anything. The problem becomes that as soon as the blank paper appears on the screen I get the undying urge to knit, which I don’t fight because I like to knit and all. So I have something of an impasse on my hands.

In the past, in addition to some sort of fiction project, I’ve had some other writing related project. It was mobile technology, it was TealArt, it was gender theory musing. I think knitting should be my next thing, because it makes sense. I’m not going to make the mistake of trying to start my own website above and beyond TealArt. I’m not that digitally charismatic, nor do I have the time resources to tackle a project like that alone, and somehow I doubt I could Tom Sawyer Chris into that. On the other hand, I realized a few days ago, that I really like editing, and that side of things. So maybe doing a periodical of some sort would work out. The other thing is that, the knitting community, for lack of a better term, functions very differently. There are a number of fairly successful knitting blogs (I read about 12 of them), 1 big online magazine, another much smaller one, and then thousands of every day knitters that maintain blogs, with varying readerships. There are also 2 or 3 print magazines (depending on how you count Vogue-Knitting; I don’t). I’m not going to register a new domain and start a knitting blog, I have a blog, this one, and it continues to satisfy all of my blogging needs. Which leaves designing; I already make the designs, so writing them up wouldn’t seem to be too hard; and general knitting writing. I have fairly entertaining curmudgeonly opinions about knitting, but they aren’t new, and at least on Knitty there have been a few articles that describe my technique, so I could probably scratch that. There’s already columnist for Knitter’s Magazine who has the “talk about knitting and life” shtick down (and she’s wonderful) so that might be a hard sell to make. Anyway, I’m thinking about it.

Enough about writing. On to real talk about knitting, because that seems to be the only thing that I’ve kept up consistently.

Near the end of the semester I made a shawl out of 50/50 Silk Wool Zephyr Lace Weight yarn. It’s about 4 ounces of yarn total. Pi Shawl (that is Elizabeth Zimmermen’s shawl pattern that’s circular and has these increases that happen in groups (the number of stitches double as the diameter doubles. so every 3, then 6, then 12, 24, and 48 rows there is one round where the number of stitches double. The pattern is drop dead easy, and combines the right amount of mindlessness with possibility for creativity. I’ve done this kind of thing before. Now I’ve made 4 ones of very passable quality, and another 3 (earlier) experiments which fail to stand up to even the lowest judgments of quality.

After I finished the Zephyr shawl, I started one using Skacel Merino Lace Yarn, which I’m convinced is the perfect lace yarn. It’s cheap, 13 bucks a skien (100g; 1345 yards), and one skien will make an entire shawl. I finished that shawl today. It’s more complicated, with more lace, but it’s really nice. In a dark teal. I of course don’t have any use for these, but they’re fun to make. They’d make god gifts, and I could probably be convinced to sell them.

As for current knitting, I have a few projects that I’m working on. The main project at the moment is a red, alpaca, shawl. Rather that work lace patterns, I’m doing textured patterns. It’s a subtle effect, but I think it will keep me interested. Preliminary testing shows that I need to work on improving the patterns a bit, and that while it may require about the same level of engagement, the pay off isn’t as great. Nevertheless I’m going to continue this, at the moment because I think this is about as close to a “manly” shawl as I’m going to get. Lace, though beautiful, isn’t terribly practical for day to day wear, in the same way that texture might be. I’d like to complete one shawl like this just to try it out. I’ve also started knitting on another one (I know I know), out of a cone of yarn I bought almost a year ago. This is part of a stash reduction attempt. At the moment, I’m using it as a swatch to test out another texture pattern that will pop up later in the red shawl. Also, as the red shawl is a project for this weekend’s MidWest Morris Ale, I want to be extra sure that I don’t run out of yarn. I’m pretty damn sure that I’m going to run out of yarn on this one, which is ok, because I’d like to edge it in black, and it’s a kind of yarn that’s fairly easy to get.

Other projects which aren’t within arms reach at the moment, and remain on the plan for this summer (and beyond) are: The sleeves for a sweater I made this semester, some sort of very simple, stole/scarve using some hand dyed yarn in my stash (quick-y project). There’s also enough zephyr for another 2 shawls, and I have another skein of merino lace weight. Also, I’m going to buy a pound of Tencel yarn to make a shawl or four. In some order. When I get back to beloit, I have my Ram’s Horn sweater to take a stab at for a third try, and a few other that I can make.

In terms of current and upcoming main projects, I have the two shawls currently under way, then the sleeves, then probably the Tencel, and probably another Zephyr one in greens if I have time this summer. Then back to Beloit, where I’ll work on whatever shawl is still on the needles until the weather breaks and I can do some fall sweater production. Then again, this could all change with my whim.

Now to tie this all together. I’m a big project kind of guy. I haven’t really been able to write fiction unless it’s as part of a big project; I find knitting things that aren’t big projects to be a bore (in the neighborhood of 20,000 stitches and 20-25 hours of SERIOUS work), and I think that both my writing issue, and this “knitting character” come from the same place. On the upside, I’ve found it much easier to knit the big projects, than it is to write them, but the time scales are way off.

Now that I’ve tied this monster of a post into a nice little bow, I think I’ll compleatly wreck the ending by talking about my computer situation.

I upgraded, and passed off my trusty little iBook to my mother. In it’s place I have a very shinny very nice, Powerbook G4 15". I’m psyched about the extra hard drive space, (of which I only have 30 gigs free, along with 20 gigs on my iPod). The speed is nice, the video memory is really nice, the screen is to die for. I’m not terribly wild about the heat output, or the battery life, in comparison to the ibook, but I think part of it’s the season (having a warm computer on your lap or under your hands is more of an issue when it’s hot out than it is in the depths of Wisconsin winter (when I’m also more likely to have a blanket and jeans between me and the computer in the winter). I’m going to need to upgrade the ram, at one end of the fall semester or the other, but I expected that. Sooner or later I’m going to have to buy an external firewire drive for backup and additional storage, but that’s more or less unaffected by the new computer (it forestalls it a little bit because I now have about 50 gb of space to play around with, rather than 15-20 gb). We’ll have to see how much I end up carrying around the computer. I’ve occasionally rethought the PDA question, but any time that I would carry around a PDA as it is, I already have the laptop. This might change, we’ll have to wait for the school year I suppose.

Ok, I think I’m done. I’ll see you all soon.

Ok, here it goes, a few things have crossed my mind as being minorly irksome, and I thought that you might like to take note of them in all their snarky goodness.

1. It’s my birthday tomorrow/today (may 19th). I keep managing to forget this. I thought it was next week somehow. I’m not good with this addition thing. Or maybe it’s subtraction, and that’s my problem. How’d it sneak up on me like that.

2. Why on earth can’t someone make a good bluetooth mouse that I could buy. By good, I mean more than three buttons, optical sensor, and a normal sized. Also, I got a computer with an internal bluetooth unit because I didn’t want to have to deal with something that I have to plug into the computer. Apple makes a nice bluetooth mouse, but if I’m going to lay down the money for a 60 dollar mouse, a few more buttons would be nice. A few other companies make these mouses, for about the same price point, but the mouses are small and cramped. I have an internal track-pad for this. The reason I want an external mouse is for the times I’m sitting at my desk doing something delicate for a long time. I don’t want something that’s going to give me a hand cramp. So I guess what I want is for Logitech to make their bluetooth devices compatible with Mac. How hard could it be. My Microsoft trackball, was plug and play. It wasn’t even that good with my PC. Come on folks.

3. Why won’t the Windows Media Player for OS X download and install right for me. I have a program (VLC) that will do what I need it to, but, it’s poor quality, or a poorly designed program. Given that people aren’t getting payed for the development I’m not that surprised.

4. I have to get up at like 5 am for a 7:30 flight to Detroit for the morris ale, which starts at 8pm. And given that I know all the mass dances save for one, (and I need to practice another) it doesn’t start until say… midnight. How do I expect to stay up until 3 or 4, if I have to get up at 5? Really now. grumble Sorry if that made no sense to you. I’m going to a dance weekend memorial day, and I have to get up at an insane time for a flight. And the thing about dance weekends, is it’s all about the pick up dancing and singing, which just starts at midnight. So I’m heading into this, with a handicap, I feel, and it’s not a big issue, I’ll just want to complain.

5. I wish school didn’t rob my attenion span like it did. I’ve been sitting around here looking at the wall (and let me tell you it’s very white and very unadorned) and I’m basically unable to do anything. I knit a few rows on my shawl and then I grow restless, and I’ll spin for a short while, and then I try and write, and I’m not getting anywhere. Now granted I’m in the boring stage of the knitting, and I view spinning as either a deeply meditative activity, or a very social one. And I’m writing the wrong book. I’ve been reading philosophy senior thesis’ that my dad gave me (and the associated theory) and so most of what would turn into tealart essays is this really futile look at so called radical french feminism in the 70s as it relates to modern queer theory. I think it’s kind of interesting to draw these connections and do some thinking, but I think there’s absolutely NO utility in hashing this out. It’s important to keep in touch with our intellectual heritage to avoid constantly rehashing old territory, but I think there are better ways to expend energy.

Ok, five is enough for now.

Cheers.

I’m almost completely done in Beloit until next semester. There is one more Rubbermaid to carry down to the car, plus the live animals, and our book bags, and then we can be on our way. It’ll be a difficult trip, the U-Haul limits the speed a lot, and yeah. But we got everything packed up, amazingly enough.

But I’m sure you’re more interested in how my semester from hell ended. Right. Well it did. I think I did well in my classes, perhaps not as well as I would have liked to, but I held down 23 credit hours, all of which were really upper level so I’m happy. I think I had/have something of a chance at As in 10 hours, A- in 8 hours, and really anyone’s guess is as good as mine in the last four hours (1 class) It can’t possibly be less than a B-, and probably won’t be better than an B+, but I learned a hell of a lot in that class, even if I’m still not sure I “get it.” But I have no regrets.

So lets go down class by class,

PSYCH 150 - Statistics: It was a good class. I totally understand what was taught, and I did reasonably well. I’m doing a lot of work with the professor (department chair), but I don’t know if I’m going to have a chance to take another formal class with her. It was a requirement, but it wasn’t a gawd awful amount of work, and I think I accomplished the goal. At the moment, I’m trying to find a way to get SPSS (the statistical package de jour, for psych) to work with my computer. No such luck yet, but I’m getting there, and I’m sort of sorry that this class was so locked up in pen and papering the solutions, and not teaching us how to use SPSS, but whatever.

PSYCH 256 - Cross Cultural Psych: I learned a lot, I guess. I felt that the methodology is completely flawed, and that the content was intro to psych, but asking the question “what about culture,” which is something I felt I did, when I was in intro. So maybe not the most productive experience, but it fulfills a requirement, and I wouldn’t have know how much I disliked it, without taking it. Not a total loss, but I’m feeling very, shrug about it.

WGST 360 - Writing Race and Sexuality: Amazing class, really really involved students, and the professor was into it too. It was also the class with the most tension. There were a number of times when the dynamic melted down, and we damn near killed each other, which I viewed as a problem. I’m totally not sure that I was prepared for the class, but I learned a lot, and would probably take it again, given the option. My paper was really interesting, there were a number of underlying flaws but I think it’ll be ok. I’m ambivalent, strongly, but that kind of thing happens. I think I got a lot from this class, but I think I ended up really demoralized about my own analytical and writing skills which aren’t that bad: maybe it was a clash of style, but whatever, it’s beyond me now, and the professor had a 1 year appointment, so that’s done with.

WGST 210 - Gender and Politics in the US with Global Contexts. This class had the worlds largest reading and writing load. It was too much at times, and while I started out ambivalent about the class (all of my friends who were taking the class with me, dropped it in the second week), I ended up really liking it. I did a lot of work, learned a bunch, have the resources to learn more and do more work, and walked away really happy. And while I don’t think my paper is publishable by any means, it’s probably the best thing (in terms of ideas) I’ve written this semester.

ART 150 - Weaving and Fiber Arts. Well that was a strange trip. I’ve discovered that I really really like knitting, and weaving doesn’t hold much appeal for me. So be it. I’m ok with that. One thing I learned, was how to spin, and I’m really interested in that now, and will continue to do this, it was a lot of work, and I turned in like twice as many projects as I needed to, so I’ll be fine. Also the instructor, seemed to be very interested in doing independent study projects with me in the future, which might be nice if I needed the credit, but I probably won’t.

PSYCH 390 - Special Project in Sensation. I was a research assistant this semester, and did a bunch of work. I wrote a lit review, collected and entered data, and participated with the analysis. While I didn’t like the study all that much, and I’m not sure that it means a whole lot, but whatever. We have the results we want, and really good results, so that’s exciting. I think the chances of the paper getting published are pretty good, and I’m really excited about that, and I’ll be able to get do some sort of research-y thing again and again, which is good.

PSYCH 285 - Journal Club. I got a credit hour to read an article and make a presentation. It was a great experience, a little work, but it was fun, and the credit was nice. I’ll defiantly be doing this one again.

That’s everything. Now to jump around a little.

As for this summer, I’m hoping I can do some sort of research thing. I’m almost certain that I’m going to be going to Kansas City for the summer, which will be a great experience. I hope I can make it work out.

This is probably the last TealArt I’m going to write from this computer. As you might remember I’ve been using a 12 inch ibook g4 (thats about a year old) for a while now. It’s a good machine, and I’d probably be able to continue to use it for years, but a number of circumstances combined, and I’m off loading it on my parents, and I’m getting a very shiny very spiffy, 15 inch Powerbook. 100 gb hard drive. 1.67ghz processor. 128 meg of video memory. 512 meg ram (to be upgraded, in August or December). Wireless (of course), No DVD burner, but I so have no use for that. It’s going to be fun.

I’ve been in a shawl knitting mood. I’m a good little bit into a shawl. I have another two planned. Did one earlier this semester, which is amazing looking. The summer is just to hot to make sweaters, though I have one that needs some sleeves that I’ll make as soon as I get to when I need a shawl break. Shawls take a long time, but I hope I can sell them or something, and if not they’re impressive to have, cheep to buy the yarn, and give you a lot of bang for the buck. So I’m going to keep that up for a while.

So that’s about it. I’ll probably be getting on the road soon. I’ll be around more this summer, and I promise to do something about this horrid design.

Ok, So I’ve been a really bad TealArtist this semester. I’m breaking my internal policy of posting my kitty of articles in order that I write them, to bring you this one.

It’s been one hell of a semester, which I hope to never really have to endure something like this again. I’m taking a, as one of my friends termed it, a royal ass-load of classes. All of which I enjoy a bunch, but it means I have to cut some things out. So I’ve been knitting a fraction of what I did last semester, and as you all notice, I’m sure, I haven’t been writing for you all. I assure you I’ll be back in full force as soon as this blasted period of my life is over.

The nice thing is that I can take 4 classes from this point forward, every semester, and graduate in Spring 2007. If I wanted to, as long as I take two psych classes and two non-psych classes, I get to do whatever I want, basically. The downside, is I have to start thinking about grad school stuff sooner than I’d want.

Just for a snapshot of my life right now, I’m going to be writing in a few moments, the lit review for a special research project for a psych professor. It’s been a great opportunity, and if it gets published it’ll probably help me get into grad school a lot (the chances of which I think are pretty likely). At the moment it’s hell, and there are a million and one nasty things I could say about this particular process, most of them related to my utter lack of engagement with the subject matter.

There aren’t classes tomorrow, because it’s spring day, which is a great deal of fun, but I doubt that the weather will hold up, so I’ll be working a lot. On the upside, I don’t have that much more to do before the end of the year. And while I’m so ready for this semester to be over, I’m not sure how ready I am to go home. I like it here, and the weather is finally nice.

Bah. I love rambling Blog Entries. One of these days I’m going to actually start writing again, by not writing actively, I kind of feel like I’m being a slacker. I’ll see you all around sometime…

Cheers!

“Is Psychology and art or a science,” the professor asked.

We all knew the answer he was looking for. No one wanted to say it.

“It’s both it’s neither,” a girl said quickly. “You can tell I’m not a psych major,” she followed quickly. It’s what I wanted to say, but given that I don’t know this professor, and right now I’m hoping that he ends up being my advisor, and I’m a little intimidated by his beginning of class talk, I keep my mouth shut. For once.

“It’s a science,” some brown-noser says sitting at the front of the class.

“Yes!” The professors excitement is radiant.

Not another one. I’m really irritated by this physics-envy that psychologists get. It’s like they’re completely oblivious. Wouldn’t be the first time. Turns me off in a big way. I like the discipline, and I have great hopes for what it can illuminate, but I think it’s all the Women’s Studies going to my head.

“What we need is to develop a different epistemological system that values non scientifically obtained knowledge.”

“You’re such a women’s studies major.”

“I think what I don’t like about psychology is that it’s approached from an empirical method, rather than a theoretically. I’m a theory junkie. There’s a problem here.”

“What! Psychology is all theory. Freud, I mean hello!”

“Right, but no one like Freud any more. And with reason.”

“Good point I suppose.” She paused for a long moment. “So there’s no theory?”

“Well, I mean there’s theory in everything, but it’s empirically constructed, not discursively.”

“Bull, it’s always discursively constructed.”

“True. Well you and I know this, but that doesn’t help things if they’re not taught this way. Ultimately it will be fine, but for now I have to sit through the damn classes.”

“You’ll do it. Just fine.”

“Of course, doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a little misery now and then.”

“You’re a strange one, Sam.”

A couple years ago I spent my winter break writing, almost obsessively. I think I got 25,000 words on The Book done in two weeks. Last year I made a sweater or two. This winter break, in comparison, I’ve made a pair of socks, five (or six or seven) hats, a tote bag, did some finishing work on a sweater, and hopefully before the end of it, I’ll have finished another sweater (sleeves and some trim left).

Oh how the times they change.

Over the past two years, knitting has surpassed writing as my primary avocation. I think this is in part due to the fact that knitting engages a complete different part of my brain than my “work” (psychology, women’s/gender/queer studies), where as writing (and the reading that one has to do in order to write) are what I do “in the real world.” Knitting is escape, and writing became too much work. So I stopped, or more appropriately switched.

Also, I think I hit a brick wall with writing. I got to a point where I needed to publish more of my work, and publish it in respectable places. Print. Publications people have heard of. Money was an issue to. I didn’t want to throw my work into a black hole, and I felt (and still feel) that money signifies something important. If a publisher can afford to pay you, even a pittance, it means that s/he is making a profit on the publication, which means that people are reading it, and publishing (and money) was a way to ensure that my work was being read.

In order to write at this level, one has to be (I think) a little better than I was or perhaps am. One also has to be really persistent, and dedicate a sizeable percentage of one’s time to pitching what you think are really great ideas (that you’ve put a lot of energy into) to editors who aren’t going to accept your idea. As a “Writer” you have to spend so much time doing things other than writing that, when it comes time to actually write you, or I, don’t really have the energy and/or will to write.

And now, as my writing interests are starting to turn in academic directions, I find that even though my transcript says I’m a second semester sophomore, I have a long way to go before I think I’ll feel comfortable contributing to the discourse.

I think another issue that I faced, was that I’m contrary by nature. Like when I was a mobile tech guru, I was interested in using the gadgets as text delivery systems, and as ways to write portably, while everyone else was interested in vertical market solutions, graphics processing, widget type applications, and the like. As a knitter, I’m interested in a completely different different type of garment construction, style, and fiber content, than just about every designer. As a women’s studies major, I’m interested in men and male relationships. As a science fiction writer, I’m interested in people, and politics not technology and science. As a queer/gender theory-person, I’m interested in gasp male (sexual) identities, and not (particularly) in the milieux of trans issues. As a psychologist, I reject the way psychologists construct binary gender, and treat the discipline as an absolute and concrete scientific study.

You call it a niche, I call it being misunderstood and unpublishable. Having said that, I do recognize that being “contrary” will make me different and particularly define my work. I suppose different is preferable to being the same, as long as I can manage to not piss everyone off and find publishers who will take my work.

Having said that, I’d really like to start writing again. I should try and write fiction again, because I’m no poet (despite the fact that the only good pieces of creative writing I have at the moment are a series of poems I wrote last year). The problem with this is that I’ve never been good with short stories mostly because I’ve never been one to read them, and I really don’t have an idea of how to go about writing fiction that isn’t science fiction. But how different can regular fiction be from science fiction?

Famous Last Words.

The Search for Love in Manhattan

I don’t know but, I totally feel like this guy is among the worlds greatest bloggers. Funny, briliant, clever, and campy.

You don’t need a bloggie for that, folks.

I’m going to offer the readers of my site the benefit of the doubt and assume that you all probably know that sex and gender are very different concepts, and this entry is just a short little thing that will outline why it’s probably a good idea to not use these interchangeably.

Sex refers to any of the characteristics, roles, and identities related to bodily function; while, gender refers to the sociologically and psychologically constructed roles and identities associated with masculinity and femininity. Gender is dependent on culture.

Both sex an gender are incredibly complex constructions, that need not be simplified to be understood. There are as many sexes and genders as there are individuals on this planet. And yes, this goes all the way back to biology. There are a multitude of biological sexes.

Not the same thing. Neither are binary. Not something you can easily quantify. I realize that the preceding paragraph makes forming a methodological approach very difficult. I’m still looking for answers to this question. I do know that the dualistic way that all of psychology articles I’m reading this week don’t approach this issue from the right place.

You may ask: “Aren’t blogs supposed to be an account of one’s lives, thoughts, and reactions to the world as they happen?” (more or less, accounting for a reasonable publishing delay). The answer is yes.

So, I bet you all are like, wow, what the hell does this guy do in his free time. Doesn’t he have a life that’s worth talking about. He’s 18, almost done with his first semester of college, at a wacky liberal arts school, and all he writes about are approaches to talking about gender and other wacked things.

Well, honest to god, this is what’s running through my head a lot.

Here’s another one of my posting backlogs. At this rate I’ll run through the stash in no time, and I’ll have togasp* write again. Wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Anyway, enjoy!*

Here’s a little but of a knitting commentary. I finished this sweater that turned out really awesome. The body is mostly black, with some gray on the yoke and the top of the sleeves, and the sleeves, and top of the shoulders are this ecru color I call sheep. It has steaks and this chest cut which is really nice. It’s all wool. I blocked it out well but I think I need to block it again, because it grew so much during the blocking and I want it to shrink up a little. It was a weird blocking experience.

I would totally write and post the pattern here, but I think I ’m going to bum a digital camera off of someone and write up a pattern for knitty, it’ll be good. In the mean time I’m maing another version of this sweater with a 50/50 hemp/wool blend that I had. It’s that light worsted/heavy DK weight yarn that I more or less have to knit at 5 stitches to the inch. I had been thinking about making a 5x3 ribbed sweater but the gauge wasn‚Äôt going to work out, and I must say that I really like making sweaters like these, and I really like wearing them as well.

I’m still really turned off of shawls. I’m also way over those fashion scarves that are really fuzzy. I have so much good shawl yarn, so I’m a little disappointed with not having any interest in doing shawl knitting, but that’s ok. I’m good with that.

I have a paper/presentation about knitting as feminist activism, which is going to be fun to do, I just have to sit down for a few hours and write that up.

Many knitters I communicate with are rushing to get their Christmas knitting done. I’m not down with the idea of knitting a slew of quick gifts. I mean on the one hand I like the idea of making versus buying gifts, but the very uniform frilly scarves, I tend to think are more about the object and less about the act of knitting. But that’s just me. I made my self two filly scarves, and I’m done with that now. Anyway, I’m avoiding other things with this post now, so I’m going to stop and move on to more worthwhile tasks. Cheers!

A few days ago, someone asked me, “what do you study in women’s and gender studies classes?” It’s an interesting question for me. I mean I could have just said, “how patriarchy and systems of oppression oppress people,” (or some variant) but that makes it all about oppression and victimization, and I think that’s unproductive and not helpful.

So I said, “gender studies is about locating our thoughts about the roles associated with gender and sex in a historical and cultural context.” I really like this definition. I’d also add other contexts now, like literary, and psychological, but in any case, I think that sums it up pretty well.

I’ve said that I want to write about WWOTB for a while, and I guess the above is as good of an introduction as any. I’ve been talking to people, both here at Beloit, and online through my vast network of people and I’ve learned a few things, and then want to make a few things clear.

First of all I don’t think anything has changed since I did CollectiveArts. The kinds of response that I’ve gotten this time around have materialized (or not) in the same way that they did the last time around. Only here, I’m not looking for a (semi) professional contributor base, which thankfully nixes the money question (good), but I still haven’t gotten any actual writing turned in yet (bad.) Having said that, my experiences in approaching people and asking them for contributions have given me a lot of information. Some are interesting simply for what they are and others are interesting in an affirming way. A lot of guys are like, “Wow, that’s really awesome I wish I had found something like that.”

I had a discussion with my feminisms professor today, and I think I want to start calling it the Young Gay Identity Project, rather than the Affinity Story project. Because… I think that captures what I’m trying to do better. I want to put together a collection of stories by young gay-identified men-identified folks that creates a fairly realistic portrait of this identity. I want to reach two groups of people with this collection: young gay men who aren’t out, or don’t know any or many other gay men and I want these boys and men to know that there are others like them out there, also I want everyone else to read the book and to find that young guys can and are gay, that the struggle of young gay men is not trivial, but also not the only struggle that young gay men think about, that young gay men can be pro-sex without being pegged (oy) as over-sexed/slutty, and that there’s more to the experience than the coming out narrative.

So there. If anyone out there wants to contribute contact me. Otherwise stay tuned for more developments. The current status is that I’m waiting for a critical mass of submissions, which will go through a fast revision cycle, and then I’ll perfect my little packet, and mail it out to publishers.

Cheers.