At various points in this graduate school application season I think I
was able to be mildly productive on other projects, but the last few
weeks have been difficult, to say the least.
And then there weren’t so many unknown variable outside of my control.
Actually this happened rather immediately. You can’t plan the unknown,
really, so in a lot of ways this is a better problem to have, but it’s
not without challenges.
One thing that I’ve realized is that after being mildly productive but
not otherwise particularly busy for what seemed like years, but was
probably only about 6 weeks, I’m dog tired.
Part of this is that I slept really poorly Sunday night and it’s taking
a while to whack my sleep schedule back into shape. Part of the problem
is that with the added emotional stress and the new anxiety of having to
figure out what I’m going to do with my life after august, I’ve been
trying to limit my caffeine intake so that the stim don’t provoke
something my body/mind can’t deal with, and make things worse.
The other ting, is that the six weeks or so of anxiety has left me
tired, which is counter intuitive, because I feel like I should be able
to get up and get going in the right direction, but it’s apparently
harder than that. And it’s only been two days at this point, so some
adjustment is necessary. And also, I think because I’ve been so largely
unproductive recently, all of the “structures of productivity,”
(list making, time budgeting aren’t as immediately habitual as it used
to be.) But I think realizing this will make it easier to attend to
these things in the future.
Also, and this is really minor, but my knitting projects at the moment
are very annoying. The hem facing from hell, and the sweater that I
haven’t designed yet. Soon this will sort itself out and I’ll be back
to knitting happy things. Spinning is slowing as well, but I did some
more of it today, and that’s good.
On the upside I’m very on top of my email correspondence.
What’s on the schedule from here? I start the full time summer job in a
few weeks, but I have big family obligations for the next couple of
weekends, so I think my time is pretty well accounted for. In the mean
time I need to get the productivity structures built up, so that I’m
better at using time to get knitting and writing done once my time is
more crunched.
The truth is, though, that I often work better when time is crunched, so
that’s not a bad thing. I’m also sending out emails about doing web
contract webdesign and other technical work, as I’m slowly in search of
a job/career/reliable income source for post-August. I got a rather
immediate callback. The pay is a bit sucky (but not bad), and if I can
do it remotely (shouldn’t be an issue) it would be more than ok.
Anyway, enough blathering. Thanks for reading, and I’ll be in touch…
Onward and Upward!