I had a lengthy conversation with a prospective graduate school advisor.

It went well.

Because I’ve been chewing over the same handful of ideas in the last few weeks about the parts of queer identity, I’ve become really comfortable with what’s been said in the field, and what my opinion is on all the key debates are. So this attitude which could be neatly summarized as “yep, done,” is perhaps not the most effective as I’m thinking about moving forward with academic work.

The thing is that it’s not a real feeling of “yep done,” it’s just that I’m feeling a bit stale, I’m feeling a bit abstract (again).

This is the problem of being a research oriented guy and not having anything even tangentially associated with data to work with or consider.

But I think the conversation helped both prepare me for this second phase of the application process, and helped me to sort of collect my thoughts. Good things. I’ll need luck, and thoughts, but I feel like I have purpose again!

Onward and Upward!

Here’s a list of “things I’ve thought about posting about, but haven’t” this weekend. I know it’s been slow around here, uncharacteristically slow, but all is well, and I’m actually feeling pretty good.

• Current frustrations with knitting projects
• Switches and cylces through my projects
• Greif about sleeves
• Greif about planning next sweater’s armhomes
• My huge knitting class which had 10 people in it.
• Thoughts on money and budgeting said money
• Thoughts on OmniFocus and changing my “system” around, and how this is a pretty habitual thing for me.
• Thoughts on selling sweaters and other knitted things.
• Thoughts on my failure to read things seriously
• Impostor syndrome and pseudonyms
• Macworld

Sometimes I think I should be making vests more often. Aside from the fact that I can’t really fathom wanting to wear sweater vests, they seem like they’d be fun to knit. Perhaps when my collection of jackets, both knit and sport-coat-like grows, I’ll make a few sweater vests and see what happens.

At the moment, I’m stuck on a little bit of a sleeve incident. the Morocco sweater progresses. By my count I have about 120 more rounds of this sleeve. Because I knit sleeves from the top down, these rounds will go pretty quickly; but I’m not quite past the magic point where the sleeve seems to zoom on toward completion.

I have dedicated myself to getting some of this sleeve done, and I’ve put a couple more hours into it, which has been a good for my state of mind. I think that once this sleeve is done, I’m going to take a break and work on other projects for a while. I think it’s very true that, while I’m generally a one project kind of guy, at least with this sweater, I need to alternate the sleeves that I’m working on. I did that this fall with some measure of success, and I’d like to be able to switch between the projects that I’m already working on.

I’ve been giving some thought to the difference between knitting my own designs and knitting other people’s designs. I basically always knit my own designs, and have for years, but recently I’ve gotten more and more interested in knitting some other people’s designs. This morocco sweater, the Bauhaus pullover from interweave last year or so, Meg’s sweater from “Sweaters from Camp” and so forth. And truth is, in the grand scheme of things, I’m pretty low on design ideas myself. Thankfully I’m not in need of more sweaters, and my sensibility has moved into simpler and more understated recently, so I’m not having a huge problem with this, but it has been something I’m thinking about.

Ok, woot. I got most of a post out all on one topic. Ish. Close enough. Anyway, I’m thinking that there’s something “off” about my working system, and I need to address this, plus I have a job to do this afternoon, and errands to run, so…

Over and out, tycho

Ken MacLeod, in an interview with io9 said:

I decided that after writing the Engines of Light trilogy, then Newton’s Wake and Learning the World, I’d done everything I wanted to do, for the moment, in space opera; and meanwhile had accumulated a whole new decade’s worth of fury about the world as it is now and the way it’s going.

This kinda approach makes me sick.

I sort of see--at least this kind of articulation--as a variant of an anti-intellectual thread that says, “don’t waste your time thinking about the big issues because the present is so fucked up.” There are variants of this, for example feminists and queers who think that feminist queer theories is counterproductive (agreed that there is a point of diminishing return, as there is with most pursuits intellectual or other wise; however, that’s a very different sort of argument.)

Science fiction is powerful because it makes abstract ideas and concepts approachable in a package that we’re able to interact with and make sense of. You can’t write a book about the Saphir-Whorf hypothesis set in 2007, but Delany did an amazing job at it in the late 1960s, and you bet your ass it was relevant to the precise moment in which it was written.

I mean, there’s worth to stories set in reality-like present day, and I’m not condemning all non-spec fiction. I’m simply saying, if what you’re interested is expressing your furry about the present day in such blunt terms, don’t do it all over my genre.

Onward and Upward!

…because I am apparently incapable of forming coherent paragraphs, or posts that stay on one topic:

• There are 6 official students in my sweater class. I’ve given two lessons to someone who promises to be a 7th (this person’s 2nd project promises to be a sweater. go her!) There is the possibility of a 8th, and possibly an 9th, so we’ll see.
• My parents are out eating which means that I’m not buying plane tickets to go to WesternState. I have to say that buying plane tickets and air flight freaks me the hell out. Not the actual act of flying, because that doesn’t bug me, but the planning associated with buying plane tickets. Ugg.
• I cleaned my office, which is a very good thing. Happiness! There’s more to do in my space, but…
• Poor tea intake today. Suck
• I’m pretty certain that I’m going to drop this class.
• I’m kind of pissed about this because I totally was trying to do something like that, and largely still am. I’m not really pissed.
• I’m beginning to start thinking more seriously about work and job things. As part of this project, I think it would be good to set up a target income and budget and all of those good things. So I can look at finding freelance work to supplement the work at the knit shop. I just don’t know where to start, and abstracts of “a job, to make more money” doesn’t seem to be helpful in either: a) actually finding a job or b) promoting my sanity. What’s the good of getting into grad school if I have a psychotic break while I’m waiting?
• I’m going to do some ipod syncing and movie syncing because think I need to concentrate a bit on my knitting. Knitting is important to me and I want to do more of this work.
• I feel like that song in Avenue Q (I’ve only heard the sound track) about not having a purpose. I’m too young for this kind of existential angst. Though, I think like maggie may I’ve been having a midlife crisis since my 12th birthday, or there abouts.

tycho out.

Onward and Upward!

• I’m so tired of introspection. I’d like to be able to just not think for a while.
• Def. Visiting WesternState in a while. Feeling good about my chances, hoping, of course, that I end up with chance to make a choice about grad school rather than being simply “stuck” with one school. Not that I didn’t apply all to schools that were a great fit, and that I’d be willing to attend… but…
• Pretty sure about dropping this class I’m in, if nothing else, because my gut is saying that. Gotta think harder about whats going on.
• I typed something off hand in this post that has me sort of down about the novel project. Not bad, but I’m going to use time this weekend to regroup. But I think that just goes to show you how much of an extrovert I am.
• I have plans to clean my office this weekend.
• I have plans to come up with some sort of schedule to budget time in the upcoming weeks. Including: job search time, email time, reading time, writing time, blogging time, and knitting time.
• I’m going to make a commitment to read both science fiction, and academic articles in my field, because I enjoy them, because it’s good for me to do that, because reading research articles, also I think informs my fiction writing.
• One of the reasons I’m thinking of dropping the class is that as I was sitting there, in addition to thinking “g-d I really don’t want to be here,” I was also thinking about how I could recycle one of my stock papers for this class, and that’s not productive for me or for anyone. This starts immediately.
• I never checked to see what my grades were from last semester. We’ll call them Schrodinger’s Grades. Not that I’m worried, more that I’m just meh.
• I got some knitting time to myself tonight. Feels good, need to get some resolution on my current project, and also get my lace piece, as crazy as it is, into a more comfortable place. If I find out that it isn’t ever really going to have a rhythm, this might become one of those long term, multi-year projects. Or I might save it for the summer.

brain… fiizzz… zzzzzz

tycho out.

Onwar….

Ok, I have a lot of email writing and fussing to-do. I collected a fair piece of information to inform my decision about this class. Sill avoiding making any sort of direct decision for a little while. I feel really bad about staying in the class, but I could do it if it turns out to be the right thing to do, but I’m not sure that it would be, and that’s what I have to decide.

I just made the most awesome pot of tea. In case you were wondering.

One thing I’ve realized about breakout (the story) that I’m working on is that I’m approaching it in a too granular sort of way. I’m too concerned about getting characters from point a. to point b. and I find myself re-reading a section that I’ve already written and saying “crap, I need to go back and add x bit.” While it’s really fun to write, I think this is a pretty fundamental problem, and I need to take a step back and think about it. Maybe start making revisions to what I have already, because the organization is pretty complex and I’d be remiss if I just continue on blithely.

In any case, I think it would be a very good thing to do to get a “real” job soon. I’d really like to find some sort of tech support-ish type gig. I’m thinking of boning up on SQL and then trying for a job with the corp that leads the development of that project (big for-profit company in the open source world, if you know what I’m talking about you know who I mean, if you don’t, it doesn’t matter.) Or something. I don’t live in the right place to do that kind of stuff generally, but I’ve seen jobs with this company that are entry level and aren’t location specific, I think.

Or something else. Who knows, I’ll probably end up doing something not at all computer related, but I figure I have three major marketable skills: my mean skills with a bash terminal (so computers), power knitting genius (hard to get enough paying knitting work, though if any of you know fashion designers in NY that need someone to do commission work and a reasonable rate…), and mean social science mojo… I’m working on being a scientist for next year, the knitting thing, is as above, so I figure it’s time to put the geek card out and see what’s out there.

Ok, I need to go see if I can resurrect my writing, somehow.

Onward and Upward!

tycho out.

Hey folks, in case you were really itching to make a knitted toy, say for the upcoming Knitty Couture toy knitting project, I’ve collected a whole mess of patterns and resources for your knitting pleasure.

Fron Knitty

• A Knitted Pumkin
• Sheldon, a really cute Turtle
• A Penguin
• A Dragon, Knitted
• Woody Bits

Link Collections for Toy Knitting

Mostly Free

• Knitting Pattern Central
• KnittingHelp.com’s free Toy Patterns
• A Toy Knit Along Blog (with links to patterns.)

Other Toy Patterns

From the Knitting Vault, not free, but reasonably priced.

• Baby Doll and Sack Pattern
• Crochet Snowman
• Small Crocheted “Petal Dolls”
• Crocheted Angel Bear
• Crocheted Baby Doll

Books

• Knitted Toys
• Debbie Bliss Knitted Toys

1. I’m not sure if I want to take the class I’m signed up for this term. I have 9 days to reflect on this. In not category, but I’m not going to rush 2. Good response from a real grad school. “Passed the first cut” (Also, I have to dig up college credit transcripts from things I took in high school, which blows.) There is a possible/very likely interview. Still not wild about the locale, but actually not discouraged. G., begged me not to go in an incredibly adorable exchange, though I can’t possibly contextualize it properly in the context of this post, so you’ll have to trust me. 3. I finished the third scene in the chapter I’m currently working on. Started the forth. THis sounds more impressive than “300” words, so I’m running with that. Slow and steady, eh? 4. Yarn store work has been very busy and very not-knitting related. Which is par for the course, because there’s lots of stuff that needs doing: sock, labeling, yarn winding, pattern research, etc. And I don’t mind this, except that it leaves me sort of irritated feeling about my own knitting, which means I haven’t really been knitting much during my off times, and because I’m busy doing other things during the day, I don’t get much knitting done a all. 5. I’m realizing that working at knitting shops makes me a very introverted knitter. The last time I worked at a shop, a few summers ago, I spent a lot of my free time knitting alone to sort of recover, and thats the same sort of thing that I find myself wanting now. 6. I wore an older sweater and pair of socks that I knit a long long time ago. It was nice, and I remember how much I liked these things.

Ok, over and out. tycho must sleep sometime.

Onward and Upward!

It was craziness at the yarn store yesterday so there wasn’t much knitting, I think maybe I’ve knit a round on the sleeve yesterday. I spent my morning writing, and I got some good work done, not as much as I’d like, of course, but I’m not complaining at all. This post will be a sort of random collection of thoughts, sorry if you were looking for something more concrete.

I did some reorganization and I have three short stories that I’ve begun in the last six months or so, and then abandoned, when they hadn’t worked out on the first try. I am however encouraged, by the fact that I heard a story on EscapePod that fell into a number of really--to my mind--horrible traps. The narrator was a writer, the tone of the narration was much like this post (he talked to the reader, the author signposted the main point, (one character said “do you know what the point is?” and the other said “yes, it’s ____”) and sort of rambled) and it was moralistic (the moral was a good one, but it still was beaten into the reader.) So dude, if famous people can pull shit like that off, we have it made.

I don’t want this to come off as a criticism of EP or Steve Eley (the editor), because the story worked, and while I didn’t enjoy it as much as some of the other ones, it was pretty good. I’m just saying, that, maybe I’m holding my stuff up to a standard that’s too high. I mean, I think generally that’s a good thing, but it means that I don’t finish stories, and I don’t submit them to readers and crit groups.

Ok, enough about writing. I saw theBoy last night. At one point after dinner we were sitting on the couch checking our email on the computer and I, had to check into ravlery, he asked “What’s that,” and I described it, and gave a brief tour, which involved showing my project page. He was mostly nonplussed by the experience but saw something that caught his eye. When I went back to see what it was, it turns out that it was these:

Which I totally made for him. So woot! I of course left them at home, along with the real “boyfriend socks” which are heavier. But these things will all sort themselves out, and I’ll remember at some point.

For those of you that are curious, it’s socks that rock medium weight, my basic toe up sock, with a turned hem cuff. Knit on US 1.5s (2.5mm?). There’s some slight row-gauge difference between them because I unintentionally used metal needles on one sock and wood on another sock.

He was pleased.

Also in the good news category, I got an email from a professor back today saying that he’d gotten my application and that it “looked terrific,” it’s too early to tell of course, and really I’m sort of throwing my future on departmental politics. But I feel good. One thing I remember thinking last cycle that my chances weren’t really as low as the numbers (initially) make them out to be. I mean most schools let between 5 and 10 people in, and get applications for 250-300 (I’d guess) people. But the applicant pool doesn’t grow even arithmetically, because everyone’s applying to more than one school. So I’m applying for one slot out of a possible say, 25, and there are 500(?) applicants. Which seems like better than most nation wide job searches. Or not. I feel like I’ll know in the next 6-8 weeks.

I have a class tonight. This should be interesting.

Writing to do now.

Onward and Upward!