Topic: Posts

Like it or not, my creative process is incredibly technological. I write, organize and manage my thoughts and productivity with my computer. This entry is about some of my recent frustrations and experimentations with my “system,” and process.

Here’s an example: The technology and creativity are so related for me, that I had a minor crisis of faith, leading to a somewhat startling minor existential panic as I was trying to fall asleep last night in response to one of the keys on my keyboard falling off.

No doubt the anxiety and stress of the past few months have complicated everything in my life in ways that I’m still fighting to recognize, but setting this aside for the moment, I want to take this opportunity to review some of my thoughts.

With the discovery of MacVim I’ve once again renewed my interest in learning how to use vim, a very old school and powerful text editor. This document has been particularly useful in helping me attempt this feat, though I continue to feel way behind the curve.

A quick note. vim, descended from the unix vi editor, makes editing text really simple, and outshines almost every other editor in a sort of brute force sort of way. One of the things that makes it so powerful is that it’s bimodal (basically, sort of). In one mode--“INSERT” mode--most like what anyone who started using computers after, say 1982, allows you to type and edit text directly. You type, and the characters you enter appear on the screen. The other mode, “COMMAND,” allows you to interact with the program, and your key strokes tell the program to do something. This means the keyboard is much more effectively used. For instance, “h,” “j,” “k,” and “l” move the cursor around in command mode, which highly maximizes the economy of movement of fingers, particularly for touch typists. And, to get the most out of vim, the idea is to spend as much time in command mode, and as little time in insert mode as possible.

And frankly, my brain is having some trouble groking this. I think part of the problem is that while I work almost exclusively in plain text, a very very small percentage of what I produce/edit is actually computer code: most of it is prose, files ranging from a few hundred to several thousand words, in average sized paragraphs. Which is fine, the issue being that that vim seems to be better organized around editing rather than the (sometimes) spontaneous generation of new content. So the end result of this line of thinking is that, despite really wanting to feel proficient with vim, it might not be particularly suited to what I want to do. Which I’m kind of disappointed by. But I’m going to try a a little more, I think, because I feel like I’ve gotten further this time than I ever have before.

That’s part one. Part two is that I think I need to work a little harder on setting up some templates to aid in organization. When I open a blank file to write a blog post I have a snippet that I can insert that will set up the headers of the post so a I can tag the entry title it, and start writing in a couple of seconds, and I like how the templates, however spare, get things rolling a little. So I think that I need to work on building more of them, no matter what editor I use. Thankfully this is pretty straightforward to fix once I figure out what kinds of templates and boiler plates I can start using.

One thing that I have done that I think is interesting, is that I’ve started to use my right pinky more. I’m left handed, and I realized not too long ago that I basically did all of my function (shift, command, control) key pressing with my left pinky. Like technically I think if you capitalize letters that fall under the left hand, you’re supposed to use the right shift key, but the truth is that I basically never do this (and probably slow my typing speed something fierce for it.) I also don’t really use my right thumb on the space bar and use my right index finger for the backspace (but not the return key.) Anyway I’ve caught myself use the command key with my right pinky a few times. Which is exciting, because I think it makes me, in some minor way, more efficient, and this is a good thing.

Another area that I’m working on improving a bit is with outlining and planing and whatnot. Over the past year or so I’ve made a move from being basically paper free, to doing brainstorming, and project planning on paper. This isn’t a bad thing, but it does mean that, I’ve gotten out of the habit--as hard as it might be for readers of this blog to fathom--of writing spontaneously at the keyboard. So I think taking notes might help with this whole process. Part of “working” on this, is a habitual thing--just getting in the habit of writing this way--but another part, not to be ignored, is getting a template for the files, and a naming scheme for collecting and organizing these thoughts. For instance, my reflex is to just type things in markdown, which has its advantages, but the truth is that I’m not incredibly likely to use anything other than markdown syntax highlighting, so I need to look into other possible formats that might work better in plain text format.

I think that’s about all I can stand to put here, I’ll have a cut earlier in the entry, just so that it’s not absurd/outrageous, unless you’re feeling really geeky. But then, you’ve gotten to this point, so you probably were feeling that geeky. Thanks.

Onward and Upward!

Days on the Waitlist: 8

I think we’re past “this is driving me crazy” to “this has driven me totally crazy.” At least I’m in good company, and at least I know that this is a finite sort of thing and I’ll get over it. So having had this realization (of which I’m sure my dwindling readership is acutely aware), lets move on to more interesting topics.

Morocco Sweater Progress: Knitting Complete(!); Finishing Remains.

So I might not technically be done with this sweater there is about three yards of hem facing to sew down and countless ends to weave in (though there could be more, and many of them will get tucked into the hem facing.) There remains the problem of how to fasten the cardigan front, I’m wavering between making button tabs and buying buttons, or compounding my zipper order even further. In any case, I might spend a few minutes pressing/steaming the hem into place, but I think I’m mostly letting this one sit for a while and giving my hands a break.

In the mean time I’ve started working, in earnest on another sweater.

It’s been so long since I’ve done this, it’s amzing how exciting and fun this is.

To be fair, I started on this design when I ran out of yarn on the last sleeve of the last sweater, and it took a number of tries to find the thing that was “right,” but once I did it’s become really engaging.

I’m making a saddle-shouldered-giant-latvian-mitten-cardigan. Basically I really liked the saddled shouldered aran cardigan that my mother made this winter, and I wanted to do something similar, except you know, more tychoish with color work and the like. This is different from a lot of sweaters I’ve made in the last three years, because I’m knitting the sleeve starting at the cuff, rather than the shoulder, because I want to stretch myself a little, and I’ve been so devoted to “top-down” sleeve knitting, that I want to see what the other side is like, for once.

So I’m about half way done with the first sleeve, I think I’ll probably get my act together to post pictures pretty soon (what with a new sweater.) and it’s a great deal of fun. It’s also going quickly, because whereas the last sweater was knit with what amounts to lace weight yarn, and this sweater is knit with what amounts to sport weight yarn (sport is the heaviest weight of lightweight yarn) and while many people would probably think that I’m still knitting really fine yarn, it is relatively speaking pretty thick.

And it’s just fun to be knitting something different. Refreshing even.

Anyway, things to do.

Onward and Upward!

First off, a couple of status reports

Days on the Waitlist: 7

I’m not sure how to report my current state of mind. I’ve been rejected from graduate schools long enough and consistently enough that I’m not incredibly optimistic feeling, even if I’m reasonably optimistic thinking. It could be over tomorrow, or it could take another four weeks. I’m working on job search things, which is daunting, but reassuring. Nothing I’m really looking at would further a career in academia, which is disappointing. Oh angst.

Sweater Status: Binding off the Hem

I’ll probably finish all knitting on this sweater this evening, and wait a few days before I start blocking and sewing things up. Or I could start on that tomorrow. I’m pretty close, and that feels good. I’m so close. That’s kind of cool.

New Computer Status Not ordered!

I got really close to ordering a new computer today: the “T” key on my laptop broke (it falls off every other time I press t). I think the problem is with the molding/wear on the catch on the upper right hand corner of the key. I was overly distraught by this: the “T” key gets a lot of use, and this basically rendered my computer non-mobile, which is something that I’ve come to really enjoy about having a laptop. Well I discovered a couple of things. First: you can order new keys on ebay for under ten bucks (which I’ve done), and secondly that I use the “Q” key significantly less than the “T” key, so in the mean time I’ve swapped them out and that helps some. It’s of course not ideal, but it renders the computer useful for a while longer.

I’m starting to think that I’ll just hold off on getting a new computer till the next rev of the macbook line, because this isn’t a necessity, and I derive some perverse pleasure from keeping this computer working and running slim. I’ll never produce a podcast with it, but, such things are overrated anyway, and I was a long way off from doing that anyway. I’ve probably just jinxed it, so I’m backing up the essentials offsite as I write this

I installed the normal old Ubuntu (GNOME) on the extra machine and it looks like it’s running well. I haven’t put it through the rounds, but it’s in good shape. I need to find a good monitor to use with it (the one I have is 10 years old and a 15" CRT). I haven’t hooked it up to a network, nor have I tested it with the internet, but I’m optimistic. I also managed to get through the install routine with the keyboard accidentally set on a turkish layout, which is a testament to it’s ease, I suspect.

Because I’m still using OS X 10.4 and don’t have the nifty new terminal with tabs, I switched today to “iTerm” which is a nifty terminal program that I think will help me stay a little more organized and what not. I also had a couple of VIM related breakthroughs: I discovered MacVim a decent (heh!) port/install of VIM to OS X that’s more native and less crappy which gVIM always has been in my estimation. There’s a windows linux program called “Cream” that I’ve always thought is pretty nifty, but it really doesn’t work at all with OS X (I’ve tried. A lot,) but from what I can tell this MacVim does most of the things that I’d want from cream. I also upgraded the system vim to the latest version, rather than the 6.2 (or whatever) that OS X seems to come with (about time). So I think I’m making at least a little progress in VIM learning.

That’s all the geek news that isn’t, there hasn’t been much else to report, other than angst and resume writing.

Stay well. That’s an order.

Onward and Upward!

This is the post I promised a few days ago about my linux/BSD/etc. quandary.

I have an old computer that is a handmedown from some friends who moved out of town and had (good for them!) bought an iMac. It’s 2001 vintage PC, branded HP. Say, 512 megs of ram, and a 1.8 ghz Pentium 4. In fact, it’s a pretty spiffy machine, for it’s day. I often think of PCs as being uniformly lackluster, but the truth is that I never had an overcharged machine. For instance, this PC has firewire. Firewire! I’m not sure that they’re putting firewire in PCs these days.

In any case, while the computer isn’t ultra spiffy by today’s standards, it’s not bad. Well, it’s not bad aside from the fact that Windows has… done what Windows does best: break, and crumble under the pressure of every day use. I mean the people I know (ok person) I know that uses windows with any consistency reinstalls the operating system with a degree of regularity that I find almost maddening (Hi C.!).

Anyway, I think if I install a more… lightweight operating system, something unix-y. And this post is half, me thinking out loud, and half me asking you all for help and opinions on the subject.

I might be able to put this computer to serious work doing something around here. One distinct possibility is that I’ll get it ready for my mother to use as her home computer, running mostly web things--email, surfing, IM--and what not. Also being able to run a few things in Wine might help her workflow out. That strikes me as being the perfect use for a straight up ubuntu install. I’ve also thought about Xubuntu, because it seems like it’s pretty suited to this kind of thing (reviving an older computer that doesn’t need to do any serious heavy lifting.)

The second thing I’m thinking of doing with this computer is to find some way of getting it to work (including boot up and all) without needing a keyboard/video/etc. So basically a server set up. I figure it would be the most efficient to be able to access it over the network from the computer that I actually use on a day to day basis. Mostly I’d use it for things like file serving, and backup, but maybe bit torrent and the like as well. Ubuntu would probably work ok for this (and I did grab a copy of the server version as well, if I want to try this. I also thought that trying to run FreeBSD might be sort of fun. I mean: a shell is a shell (I hear freeBSD doesn’t come stock with bash, sigh.) and you know that might be fun. And if I don’t get into graduate school, having unix experience, might be productive.

So I guess, your thoughts on Ubuntu flavors, or I suppose other linux distributions, and also, on FreeBSD if anyone out there in Internet land has experience, it would be great to hear from you on that.

Talk to you soon!

Onward and Upward!

I have amazing friends. Many of you read this ‘blog. Sorry if I’m ripping you off, but comedy, is well, good to find. Thank you all for saying memorable things, and sorry if I’ve changed your words too much.

N: I am tired and cranky and don’t want to think about gender anymore today. pause Or math.

G: Men, on average, have more upper body strength… It’s helpful in settling primitive disputes, well primitively.

(P is a friend who plays frisbee with great dedication. The following stems from a description of something from a frisbee game.)

T: What?

P: See, I lay out, they lay out in front of, next to, behind, under, or over me.

T: Ok.

P: Then, we collide, and one of us comes up with it or the defense

T: If you say so.

P: Right, and then we help each other out, groan

pause

P: I mean up, help each other up.

pause

T: That was the best freudian slip I’ve seen in a while.

P Laughs.

T: I thought you liked frisbee because it was homoerotic, but I didn’t know that you knew that.

Thanks folks!

Days on the Waitlist: 6

Sweater Progress: Sleeves: complete. Collar: complete. Hem facing: f-ing never ending.

I’m listening to Bruce Springsteen’s album “Born to Run” with some obsession today. A dancing friend, whose living in someone else’s house this semester (and therefore with someone else’s record collection) said that she’d been listening to Springsteen lately, which she hadn’t really listened too much previously.

She described it as being “angry and about prison and fights and ugliness. But it was much more melodic than she’d expected.” Which I think is the perfect description of his music, particularly of “Born to Run” that I am so fond of. I think the way that his lyrics are so gritty and the way that this contrasts with the way that the melodies are so rich is what makes his music so appealing.

I said--somewhat flippantly--that there’s something about this aesthetic that people like William Gibson aspire to create: a wondrous, fantastic image steeped in a very gritty hard fought sense of “reality.” And frankly, Bruce does it better than anything that I’ve ever seen of Gibson’s. But I am willing to stand corrected.

And though I enjoy this music, and frankly the attempt to ground fiction in an non-utopian setting, despite my protests against “hipster dystopianism” (Gibson, Doctorow, Sterling, etc.). I am even more admit in the position that it’s possible to write fiction that is high quality and highly interesting that participates in the discourse of cultural critique that isn’t an aesthetic homage to grit and dystopia.

Leave it to Springsteen, really.

Actually, perhaps part of the reason that I dislike fiction which embraces the point of view that in order to be “fresh” and “real” and “engaging” you have write stories about gritty reality and the dark underbelly of society is that this perspective has only the most superficial understandings of class. This is, I think the result of the “punk” part of the cyberpunk equation.

I’ve heard a couple of times that cyberpunk “failed” in part because technology didn’t develop in the way that everyone in the eighties thought that it would, but more than that, because the cyberpunk movement failed to attract “real” punks. Geeks in the eighties and nineties turned into dot-com yuppies, not cyberpunks.

Regardless of who was attracted to the literature, cyberpunk relies heavily on the image of the ‘punk. Poor, outcast, and non-conforming, the hero of the cyberpunk drama is able to wield a collection of skills in a virtual world to combat large unregulated megacorporations in their bid to do evil. The virtual world becomes a space to level out difference where the battle becomes about skills and ingenuity, not resources.

Which makes for a great story, the problem with this is that being a punk is a luxury, and although at the time of the story the cyberpunk characters are on the fringes of society, there’s the distinct feeling that despite their current situation, their class identity/background is much more middle/upper class. Because being a cyberpunk requires time, and skills, and money that is hard to come by if you’re poor.

And Springsteen is able to write these songs that capture class in a more realistic way, that captures the gritty reality without become enrapt by “punk”-ness. And it’s enjoyable.

Ok rant over. Or something. I hope that made sense.

Other news:

• I hooked up a new external keyboard to my computer. Wow. It’s really nice, and I can type pretty damn well. It’s a windows keyboard so it’s taking a few moments to learn where all the apple specific keys map to. But it’s nice to have a keyboard with full key return that doesn’t stick funny. My laptop keyboard is in bad shape. I should just order the new computer, but it’s a lot of change to drop at once, particularly when things are so uncertain.
• I have begun sending out feelers for summer and current employment.
• The waitlist thing continues to be difficult and unchanging, so I’m not writing very much about it. I’m trying to find the right balance between: celebrating the distinct possibility that I’m going to be a graduate student next year, the possibility that I will need to seriously reconsider my purpose and position in the world as I try and figure out “what next,” and planning for the present so that I’m not stuck perpetually waiting for “what happens next.” But it’s damn hard.
• Knitting: I need to spend some time knocking out this sweater. Really. It’s close, but I fear that if I go full boar, I’m going to wreck my wrist, and that’s not desirable at all. And I hereby promise to not pass judgment or moan over this sweater until it’s fully blocked.

Onward and Upward!

I mentioned the other day that after the morris dance gig on Sunday that I got six varieties of (likely) imported British teas at a local international food market. Because it seems in character I thought that I’d post a few thoughts about the first tea that I’ve picked up.

My baseline tea is the Trader Joe’s english breakfast tea. It’s a really really good tea, I’ve given it to other tea drinkers in a sort of blind test and everyone’s been really pleased with it. Strong, with just the right amount of bitter. I tend to brew really big cups (my old mug was 16 oz, my current house mug is a bit more.) and somehow the Trader Joe’s tea was always just strong enough.

The issue, and the reason that over the past few months I’ve been looking for a different brand is that TJ’s changed the packaging. While this means that the tea now costs less by some significant fraction, the tea bags are now individually wrapped in paper. The plastic of their former wrapping, while probably environmentally less friendly made the tea bags more durable as I traveled, and I think the tea tasted more fresh. I still get the TJ’s tea, but I’m on the lookout. And it’s nice to have a little variation. Which brings us to the current tea.

Ahmad Tea’s English Breakfast

So it turns out I’m completely unable to predict what the packaging of a tea will be by shaking the box. This is in (very) little round tea-bags, and not only are they not individually wrapped but there was no internal packaging to seal the tea bags. So much on that account.

The tea is more bitter than I’m used to or would typically prefer. It’s the ideal tea, in my mind, to drink with milk. While I do take milk from time to time, I tend to just drink it black more than not: it’s easier, you can taste it better, and I heard somewhere that any of the typically restorative qualities of tea (antioxidants etc.) are negated by milk; this explains why the British don’t typically see the benefits of tea, while easterners do. Having said that, while the tea was good in other respects I can’t say that I found it particularly exceptional or unique. Good, solid, but not unique.

Practically, when I brewed a large cup with one tea bag, it tasted pretty weak. With two bags, it was too strong and while I did drink it, I think in the future I’ll take milk with this tea. I’ll make a pot in the morning and see if I can get a better balance. The pot brews about 3 cups, so I’m thinking that 4-5 tea bags might be the sweet spot.

We’ll see how future experimentation plays out, and I got two additional varieties: their “english afternoon tea” and “english no. 1” tea, so I will be interesting in doing some compmparisons over the next few days.

Onward and Upward!

For a weekend that was, for the most part, pretty quiet, on Sunday evening it doesn’t seem like it was that relaxed. And, what’s more distressing, is that I didn’t get a chance to write a blog post at all this weekend. Eek.

I have a post about tech stuff coming up (I have an old computer that I’m rescuing and I have some thinking/wondering/planning to do before I can get that going.) But I won’t bore you with the details and the wandering. In the mean time I thought I’d run down through some things:

I’m still on the waitlist. That means…

Days on the Waitlist: 5

…and it’s a very scary place. In truth it could be as many as 30 more days. TheBoy made his decision on the night of April 15th last year, so it really might be that long before I hear anything more.

And that sucks. I could be a graduate student next year, that’s a pretty strong reality. I could also not, which is much more difficult to cope with, and will require a much stronger reevaluation of my life goals and plans. It’s so scary in part because it means that I either won’t have a job/career in academe or that my path to getting a job will require a significant repositioning. Fucking scary, guys. Fucking scary.

In terms of the knitting, I’m in the middle of a hellish hem facing for the current sweater. All other knitting is done, and I think I was able to predict my progress pretty well. (Or more optimistically, I was able to achieve my knitting goals.) I’m really looking forward to being done with this sweater, and being able to focus on new projects with my undivided knitting attention.

Further “notes of random”: We had a morris dance gig (referenced in the title of this post) and the drawstring of my pants broke before the gig. Thankfully, I was, as always, wearing a pair of gym shorts underneath these pants and was able to pin the pants to the shorts and all was well. Thought I like these pants (their linen!) and I want to put a new drawstring in them. Also after the gig we stopped at a international food market, and I was able to replenish the tea supply with a half dozen varieties of good dark British teas. So at least my caffeine habit is satiated.

Anyway, I think I better let things go at that. My “T” key is threatening to come off, and this irritates me, and I should probably get on to do other things for a while. I’ll be in touch. You be too.

Onward and Upward!

Days on the waitlist: 3

Current Sleeve Progress: 67 pattern rows to go.

I’m preparing for a restart of my computer, which I don’t think I’ve done at all in at least a month. Actually, it’s probably been more like two.

This is one of the problems of having a computer that, “just works, damnit,” you completely forget to do things like restart the system, because you don’t really need to. Really you shouldn’t need to even restart occasionally, but apparently OS X clears out some cache’s and does some other things during the shutdown and login processes that it doesn’t do at other times.

Hopefully a restart will make things run a little more smoothly.

Sometime in the next month, I’ll hear from grad school, and if I get in, I’ll order a new computer instantly. If I don’t, I’ve decided to postpone purchasing for at least six months, because my current computer still works, and my main argument for getting the new computer now rather than in august, is I’d rather do the transition now, rather than right as I’m getting started with school.

Makes sense. Even if I don’t like it. On the other hand I have a couple of keys that feel like they’re about to break, and that might be the final straw.

In other news:

• Sleeve knitting occupies most of my attention. There appears to have been some minor blunder, but I think I have squashed it. I have a lot left to do with this sweater--the rest of the sleeve, the collar, and a hem facing from hell: 120 inches or so--and then the usual finishing. It’ll probably take most of the rest of today and the rest of the weekend.
• I spent some time doing some planning in my paper notebooks. This is a good sign. I often say that I have to have a certain amount of material in the hopper before I can really be productive with my writing, and needless to say, I’ve been behind on that.
• I haven’t been reading my news-reader all week. I’m behind, but not too bad. I think I need to reassert this habit as part of a routine.
• I’m running out of good television to watch while I knit. I’m currently watching Jeremiah, but it’s not grabbing me, so I think I’m going to start listening to podcasts and hope for something new.
• My latest post at the feminist science fiction blog is up. For your enjoyment and edification.

I’ll be in touch.

Days on the waitlist: 2

Current Knitting Progress: Over the half way mark on the sleeve.

I have from time to time suggested that there is a parallel between knitting sweaters and writing novels: they’re substantive projects, they are in many ways the perfection of their respective crafts, and it is is my hope that both are able to stand on their own discrete merits. Also, both sweaters and novels--at least in the way that I practice both--are very much the product of several hundred years of traditional development that saw dramatic revision and modernization throughout the 20th century.

It’s at this point that I should probably draw an uncomfortable comparison between Elizabeth Zimmerman and someone like Toni Morrison or Kurt Vonnegut, but lets just pass that by.

In any case, finishing this sweater, at the moment, feels a lot like finishing a novel project. In this case, it’s taken about as long, and though there are many things that are likely more deserving of my time, I’m looking forward

Conveniently, or not so, I’m battling some sort of perverse left-wrist pain. I think it’s computer related, but it’s bazaar. It’s off-center (pinky side) of the wrist and it’s sort of dull. Which is, as far as I can tell, very much not carpal tunnel which is centered and a sharp pain. I think it’s computer related (that’s why this post comes out so late in the day), knitting stress/pain manifests in the other wrist and is more typically carpal tunnel feeling, but I’m not sure. Sigh In any case, after some convincing, ibuprofen and ice seem to have knocked it out mostly.

In other news, I’ve realized that my spinning wheel is slated to arrive in two weeks, or so. I’m excited.

If my wrist holds up, I’ll be in touch.

Onward and Upward!